It was late on a Saturday night. I was sitting in the living room with a movie playing in the background. I don’t remember what it was, but I remember my wife had gone to bed, and the house was quiet.
I wasn't watching. My mind was on the team.
At the time, I was at PwC, second in command after the MD, managing the most profitable service line in our department. The team had grown from three people to four, then five, then six, and more. The numbers were growing too. On paper, everything was working.
But there I was, alone on the sofa, stressed, lonely and down.
In the silence, I picked up my phone and started typing a note to myself. The only sound was the clicking of the keys.
Get to know your team. Their favourite colours. What they like and dislike. What motivates them.
I was angry with myself. I knew I wasn't leading. I was managing.
What I didn't know was that I was burning out. I thought the problem was that I didn't know my team well enough. I was so focused on getting to know them that I had completely lost touch with myself.
The reason I'm sharing this with you
I know leaders feel the same, especially new Heads of, Directors and VPs, promoted or hired in, doing everything they can to prove they're the right choice.
I burned out because I was doing more and getting less. More hours, more emails, more of my old job on top of the new one. The team grew, the numbers grew, and so did the weight on my shoulders.
Back then, I believed a good leader does the work. If it matters, you do it yourself. If it isn't done right, you do it again.
Now I believe the opposite. A high-performing leader gets more done by doing less. Your job isn't to do the work. It's to build a team that can do it without you.
That's what this article is about: a practical plan for your first 90 days, so you don't have to learn it the way I did.
Signs you're managing, not leading
Be honest with yourself. How many of these sound familiar?
You tell people what to do, and when it isn't done, you do it yourself.
You're still doing your old job on top of the new one.
You're the expert in every meeting. You answer every question, review every email and lead every pitch.
Your team waits for you before they move.
You don't really know the people you lead: what motivates them, or what they're good at.
There's no regular rhythm. No weekly meeting, no stand-up, no one-to-ones.
When more work comes in, you feel stress, not excitement.
Your evenings and weekends belong to work, and you lie awake thinking about it.
If more than two sound familiar, keep reading.
Oh, and if you’ve already been in the role for six or nine months, it's not too late. Treat the next 90 days as a reset. Here’s what I wish someone had told me:
Month one: learn everything
Week one: meet everyone
Think of your first week as a crash course. Your job is to meet everyone and build rapport.
Say hello. Talk about your background and experience, and ask about theirs. You're not fixing anything, yet. You’re building relationships.
Use short 15 to 20 minute meetings, coffee breaks or lunch. Think about who: the whole team, specific people, colleagues in other departments. You decide. Then use them to arrange a longer one-to-one.
Weeks two and three: listen and ask questions
These longer meetings are where you learn about the business and the work. Meet everyone, not just the senior people. Ask:
What's working?
What's not working?
What do you expect from me?
How can I help?
Who else should I meet, in this team, in other departments or elsewhere?
Learn the systems as you go. Ask questions, even when you think you know the answer.
Week four: start building structure
By the end of the first month, start putting a structure in place. Focus on three things, in this order of priority.
1. Clients. Who are your clients? Which ones generate most of the business? Often a small group, around 20% of clients, brings in around 80% of the revenue. Why them? What's working with them? Learn everything about them.
2. Team. Build more structure with your team, jointly, not for them. Start with a weekly team meeting and a daily stand-up, and add one-to-ones when needed. Test it and adjust until you find what works. Mornings or afternoons? Beginning of the week or later?
Here's how I'd run the weekly team meeting:
Intro. Progress compared to last week, and any announcements from management.
The team. Start with the most junior person or the newest hire. If you start with the most senior, the juniors might just agree. What did they notice? What worked for them this week? What challenge did they solve, and what did they learn? Then go round the rest of the team.
You. Share what you learned this week, and a story. Something to inspire the team. It could be about an athlete, or about a time you felt stressed or down yourself, or a movie you watched. Be yourself. Authentic.
Conclusion. The focus for next week.
The daily stand-up takes 5 to 10 minutes. Everyone answers three questions: What's on your plate? What will you do? By when? That's it. Let them set the deadline. That builds accountability.
3. Systems. What's the biggest bottleneck? What's stopping the team from delivering to clients? What's needed, what's the budget, and how do you work within the systems, policies and structure already in place?
Month one checkpoint
Answer yes or no:
Have I met everyone in my team one-to-one, junior and senior?
Do I know what each person expects from me?
Do I know who our top clients are, and why they work with us?
Have we agreed a weekly meeting and a daily stand-up together?
Do I know the biggest bottleneck stopping us from delivering to clients?
Month two: build rhythm and cadence
Month two is about rhythm. You've put a structure in place. Now make it a habit.
Assess what has changed since the beginning.
Notice how your team performs. Identify each person's strengths, so you can lean on them to get to the next level. Get even closer to them.
Set your goals. You'll align them with your team's goals in month three.
Review your check-ins with senior managers. If you started weekly, you can spread them out once you're ready.
Look at the systems again: what's working, and what to improve.
This month is about monitoring performance. When something isn't working, notice it, and start thinking about how to change it. If you don’t know, say you don’t know and ask for help. Let me tell you something right here: asking for help is a sign of strength.
The trap to watch
Watch how you feel when more work lands on your desk. If you feel stress instead of excitement, something isn't adding up. That was me on the sofa that Saturday night.
Month two checkpoint
Are the weekly meeting and stand-up happening every week, without me chasing them?
Can I name each person's biggest strength?
Have I set my goals for the next three months?
Have I reviewed how often I check in with senior managers?
When new work comes in, do I feel more excitement than stress?
Month three: do less, not more
By the end of month three, you've been in the seat for a quarter of a year. Time to look back. Schedule an hour to go through your reflection. This is the part no one tells you!
Keep what worked, drop the rest
Focus on what worked. Drop everything that hasn't. Build on what's left. This is the 80/20 rule in action: high performance is about doing less, not more.
Start finding things to delegate. If you're still doing work your team could do, you're managing, not leading.
Live the culture you built
The habits you set in month one are now your culture. Keep living them: the way you communicate with your team, the trust you're building, and the way you talk to yourself.
Check how you're doing in private
This is where most new leaders fall short, and where I did. At work, things may look fine. But how are you doing in private?
Notice your sleep, your mood, your energy, the time you spend with family and friends, and your hobbies. If you notice cracks there, it's only a matter of time before something breaks. Take action now.
Align on goals and plan the next quarter
By the end of the third month, your team should feel like an extension of you and the culture you bring. You know them, you're closer, you're building together and you're aligned. You communicate, and mistakes are something you learn from.
Now align on goals. Ask your team what they want to achieve, and work together to see how their goals fit with the ones you set in month two.
Then set your target for the next three months. Make it SMART (specific, measurable, achievable, relevant and time-bound), and use OKRs (objectives and key results) to track performance.
Ask for feedback
Ask openly for feedback from your team, from senior managers and from clients.
With clients, use it as an excuse to stay close. What do they want to see more of? What's working? What should improve? Then ask yourself: how can I involve my team?
Always think about how to improve. Learn yourself. Learn your team.
Month three checkpoint
Have I dropped what didn't work?
Have I delegated something I was still doing myself?
Are my sleep, mood and energy where I want them to be?
Am I making time for family, friends and hobbies?
Have my team and I aligned our goals?
Do we have a SMART target and OKRs for the next quarter?
Have I asked for feedback from my team, senior managers and clients?
It doesn't end at 90 days
This isn't a one-time thing. It's ongoing. You're building trust, and you're building a system.
Trust is like glass. If it breaks, it's really hard to put back together.
So be the leader you wish you'd had. Inspire your team, and lead by example:
Camera on in virtual meetings.
Show them how to approach clients with a simple three-step structure: an introduction, the main body, and clear action points.
Check in with your team regularly: how they're doing, their performance, and their personal life.
Questions new leaders ask
Here are some questions I’ve heard (which I’ve also asked) from new leaders who have been promoted, or recently hired:
How do I get my team to take ownership?
Build the structure with them, not for them. Agree the weekly meeting and daily stand-up together, learn each person's strengths, and lean on them. Stop doing their work for them.
Should I change things straight away in a new leadership role?
No. Spend your first month learning: meet everyone, ask questions, and understand the clients, the team and the systems. Start building structure towards the end of month one, then test and adjust.
I've been in the role for months. Is it too late?
No. Treat the next 90 days as a reset and follow the same steps. The checkpoints above show you where to start.
How do I stop doing my team's work?
At the end of each month, look at what you're still doing yourself, and ask whether someone in your team could do it. Keep what worked, drop what didn't, and delegate the rest.
Where do you stand?
You probably already know. If you recognised yourself in the signs earlier, or answered no to more than a few of the checkpoints, you’re doing more and getting less, just like I was on that Saturday night.
Working harder grew the numbers, but it didn’t make me a leader. It burned me out. High performance is about doing less, not more.
If that sounds like you, book a complimentary call. We’ll look at what’s in your way, and whether working together makes sense.
