The Difference Between a Manager and a Leader

He finally landed his dream job. Big global firm with a prestigious name. A title that he believed would open doors for him. He felt proud of the success he had achieved. It's been years in the making, and now the moment has arrived.

He's read many leadership books. He knew that he wanted to be better than all the previous managers that he had. He was different. He was special. He knew and they didn't know.

His family were thrilled for him. His mother couldn't be prouder of the man he has become. He knew this because she told him. He was making more money and believed this was just the beginning. He loved suits, so he bought new tailor made suits and expensive Italian ties. 

He carefully ironed his white bespoke shirt one morning, making sure that every crease was perfectly pressed. He put on his brand new blue suit, popped his cuffs and smiled as he glanced at himself in the mirror. He was on his way to his first day as a manager.

He arrived at his new office, feeling and looking sharp. He walked into the office building and headed straight to the reception while his heels echoed with every step he took. He asked the receptionist where he should go, and she pointed him in the right direction.

He arrived at his floor and was welcomed by everyone. It was everything he ever wanted. He felt respected. Admired. And even welcomed some of the jealousy he felt was coming his way. He embraced it all!

He took his seat and was ready. Nothing could stop him now. All new managers had to go through a week of training. He went, although he believed that he knew more than everyone else.

He told himself that it was a waste of time, and that he belonged on the desk. He checked his emails constantly, and would go back to the desk whenever he had a break. Needless to say, he didn’t take the training seriously.

Months passed and at his first annual review, he was shocked to learn that his performance was rated as subpar. He had no idea what had happened. He worked hard, did everything that was asked of him, and thought he was a top performer.

He ignored the annual review. It's just the first year, he told himself, and he never asked for help. He believed he could do it all on his own because, how can a manager ask for help? 

But he couldn’t handle it all. He struggled. His line manager saw it, and his confidence was shattered when junior members also flagged his performance. No one saw him as the best manager in the world. 

The following year he worked even harder, but when the next annual review came, he was rated even lower! It seemed like everything was falling apart. Was he on his way out?

What I just described to you is a true story. That new manager was me.

The problem in the corporate world when people become managers.

When I took the role of a manager, I never knew what it meant to be a manager. I thought it was about keeping an image and impressing everyone. I thought it was about telling people what to do, because a manager knows everything. I thought it was about keeping emotions bottled up inside, because managers never show any vulnerability.

I thought it was about doing everything without asking for help.

When I became a manager, I thought that I needed to be a superhero. That's why I was hired, right?

It was only many years later that I knew exactly what I was experiencing. Like many new managers, I felt like an imposter. I thought that asking for help would tarnish my reputation. I imagined partners and directors saying, "We hired you to tell us what to do, not to ask questions."

Of course, they never said anything like that. In fact, I was encouraged to ask questions, but I didn't feel comfortable to do so. I kept thinking about how I would look in their eyes, and I created a story about the repercussions in my mind that I thought was reality!

So I put on my superhero hat, like imposters do, and assumed I would solve all the problems on my own. Only, I didn't solve any problems on my own. I didn't know how processes worked. I didn't know how to communicate with my team, other departments or senior management. I didn't know how to lead myself, let alone lead anyone else.

Was I a bad manager? I didn't understand what the issue was. I also didn't know who to ask for help. I thought that achieving a certain level means that there isn’t more to learn. I thought that as a manager, I had reached the peak and eventually with lots of stress and pressure, I'd be the leader I thought I wanted to be. Like a diamond being shaped by immense pressure.

I watched many videos on leadership. I read books. I spoke with family and friends. I imagined myself as an impactful leader. But none of that worked.

If I had known better, I would have hired an executive coach to help me. But I was very far away from asking for help, let alone asking a stranger to support me.

Who is a leader?

I believed I was on my way out, but before that discussion ever happened, there was a restructuring in our department and we had a new leader. I was second in command, and I knew that I had to prove myself again. I put everything into it.

I worked closely with the new leader and learned about different leadership approaches. I learned about compassion, empathy, asking questions and slowly rebuilt my confidence. My performance started to improve and I was asked to manage my own department. I was thrilled about this change! I started holding team meetings, creating processes to help the department deliver on the expectations.

I spoke up more, because I was invited and asked to share my opinion. I was being led, and felt like I was learning to lead in return. I felt more comfortable letting go of certain tasks and trusting the team to deliver. That alone gave me the capacity to focus on other more meaningful things, like client management and market research.

I started noticing how my team was performing, and realized that a leader is not someone with a title. A leader is anyone who is willing to do the hard things, and inspire people to be their best. A leader is someone who asks for help. A leader is someone who puts others first. A leader is someone who says, "I want to achieve this", to inspire others, and when the job is done, says, "We achieved it together,” because it’s always a team effort.

A leader is someone who understands their own emotions, and the emotions of others. A leader is someone who knows how to read the room and is able to show emotions when it matters, and regulate themselves at other times.

A leader is someone who admits mistakes and learns from them. A leader is deemed a leader when he or she creates other leaders. I'd like to think that I was on my way to becoming that leader that I aspired to be when I was a manager. I started getting to know my team better. I wanted to help them become the best versions of themselves. I started sharing stories about leaders. I started listening more than speaking. I learned there was no end to learning. And that got me thinking:

What's the difference between a Manager and a Leader?

Reflecting on my experience, and with the insights that I have developed as an executive coach, I can now clearly see the difference between a manager and a leader. Here's the distinction, based on meta programs, a pattern I use in my coaching practice to spot how people orient themselves:

A manager is someone who operates in the present moment. That means that they prefer to get things done now, while having less concern about the future. When I was a first time manager, I didn’t care about helping others to learn and grow. I was focused on getting the work done. That’s all that mattered. But was it?

A manager is concentrated on following procedures and processes closely, without having the capacity to be creative to solve bigger problems.

A leader, on the other hand, is different.

Leaders operate while geared more towards the future. They have a vision and their actions inspire others to feel motivated and take more action. Leaders tend to think of others first, then themselves. They empathize with the people around them, use the environment to create opportunities and know that they are not a one-man show.

Most importantly, leaders do not need titles to lead. They have an innate ability to transform the people around them through inspiring behaviour, none of which I had when I was a first time manager.

In a nutshell, a manager is responsive because they manage what is happening. A leader is proactive because they are creating.

Why is it important to notice the difference between the two?

Doing the same thing and expecting a different result rarely works. And developing awareness of how we are behaving is the first step to acknowledging where we are, what's working and what needs to be done.

If I had to go back and talk to myself as a first time manager, this is the advice I’d tell myself:

Become aware of where you are

Before making a change, understand where you are. Start with a simple audit by rating yourself on a scale of 1 - 5 based on some criteria. Here are a sample of criteria to consider: Communication, Stress, Motivation, Decision Making, and Confidence.

Make a list of five leaders you admire

This is my list, no particular order: Nelson Mandela, Oprah Winfrey, José Moreno Hernández, my father, and Captain Jack Sparrow.

Study the leaders

Read about them. Imagine that you are them in the decisions that they are making. What are they thinking? What skills do they possess? How are they seeing the world? How do they see themselves? And why are they doing what they are doing?

Create your own mental board of directors

Imagine having weekly, monthly or quarterly meetings with your leaders. Discuss with them what is on your mind. Imagine their voices, what they are wearing, how they speak and live that imagination. Get close to them and listen carefully to what they are saying.

After a period of time, say six months, go back and re-do the audit.

For the highest impact, refrain from checking your initial score. Rate yourself again on all the metrics that you used. Be honest, this is a personal exercise that you alone are going through. Once completed, check how you've done.

For any metrics that you have improved, ask yourself: "What helped me?" For any criteria, if there are any that were worse, ask yourself, "What can I do to improve then?"

Putting all of this together

As an executive coach, leadership is a topic that I constantly cover with my clients. There are concepts and studies identifying certain leadership traits and behaviours. However, there isn't one right way to lead, and it all starts with leading yourself.

Staring at yourself in the mirror and asking yourself if you are a leader that you would follow will also give you an answer. That’s your gauge.

And if you want to truly amplify the effect of that question, or your own leadership journey, consider working with a mentor or a coach. They can guide you to develop your own leadership style, usually quicker and with practical tools to use along the way.

Why Great Leaders and Coaches Ask Questions

At some point during my career, I was asked to place orders to buy and sell hedge funds. This was before Zoom calls and COVID-19 lockdowns, so the process involved sending the instructions by fax.

I barely knew how to use the fax machine. I typed the orders in a Word document, printed it and took it to the fax machine. I dialed the number and slipped the pages into the document feeder. The pages started going through the machine, and I thought that was that.

A few weeks later, I noticed that one of the orders had not appeared in the system. “Why did they ignore my instructions?” I thought to myself. Upon further investigation, I was told that one page of the fax was never received. Oh no. I messed up!

I built up the courage to tell the portfolio manager, because if the price moved against us, the firm might have to bear the cost. Luckily, the price was moving in our favor.

I explained what had happened, and he asked, “Did you get confirmation that the fax was sent?”

Hmm. Good question. “No, but this machine doesn't give out confirmations,” I said, while blaming the tech.

He stood up from his four-screen desk and asked me to follow him. I thought I was going to get fired! We went to the fax machine, and he asked me whether I knew how to use it. I told him that I didn't know, but how hard can it be.

He clicked on some buttons and retrieved all the faxes sent.

“Do you see this?” He pointed to the faxes I sent.

“Oh, yes, now I see it.” I was so embarrassed!

“You click here, and it prints the confirmations. It seems one wasn't delivered. What do you think we should do?”

“Send it again?” My voice was still shaking.

“Great, and what will you make sure you get this time?”

“The confirmation?”

“That's it! And one more thing, how will you know they got it?”

“I'll call them right after I send the fax?”

“Exactly.”

The portfolio manager was also my mentor, who actually taught me much of what I know about the markets. If you have never experienced coaching, this is one practical example of what it can look like.

Not all great leaders are coaches, but leaders who bring coaching into their conversations can create more lasting change.

I did not yet understand the power of coaching or how people learn at work. I always thought that a coach tells you what to do. Someone who knows more than you and gives you the answers to all your questions.

I was completely wrong. 

This article explores what coaching is and why it can be such a powerful approach for leaders who want to create lasting impact.

What is coaching?

One widely used definition, from the International Coaching Federation, describes coaching as partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that supports their personal and professional potential. The coach and client work as partners, with the client retaining responsibility for their goals, decisions and actions. Although coaching is becoming increasingly visible in Cyprus, I still speak to leaders who assume that a coach will come and tell them what to do.

The difference between coaching, therapy, mentoring and consultants

Coaching is not therapy, although coaching conversations might touch on the root cause of a challenge. Therapy is a clinical profession that can address mental health, wellbeing, relationships and behaviour. It is generally regulated and licensed according to the laws of the relevant jurisdiction and may focus on the present, the past or both. Coaching isn't a substitute for therapy, and a good coach knows when to point a client toward one instead.

There's no single licensing system for coaching the way there is for therapy. Professional bodies like the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC), the International Coaching Federation (ICF), and the Association for Coaching (AC) offer credentialing and ethical standards, but membership alone isn't a guarantee of quality. If you're looking for a professional coach, checking whether the coach holds a recognised credential is one useful starting point, alongside considering their training, experience, ethical standards and fit with your needs.

Mentoring is different too. A mentor is usually someone with relevant experience who offers guidance, perspective and lessons from their own professional journey. Consultants bring specialist expertise to analyse a problem and recommend or help implement a solution. I know this well, because I was a consultant, advising ultra-high-net-worth clients on asset allocation and portfolio strategy. A consultant asks questions to understand the challenge, then uses specialist expertise to recommend or help implement a solution.

A coach doesn't hand you the answer. My job is to help the client examine the situation and identify the best option for them.

Listening

Listening is probably the most important skill a coach or leader can develop. For practical purposes, I think of listening as taking place at three levels. The first level involves listening to the words being spoken. Many conversations begin at this level: we hear the words but may miss the tone, emotion or context surrounding them.

The second level involves listening to tone, body language and other non-verbal cues. This may include noticing changes in posture, breathing patterns, facial expression and eye contact. My mentor and portfolio manager was operating at this level. Paying attention to these signals can help us understand the context surrounding what someone is saying, although they should never be treated as definitive evidence of what that person is thinking or feeling.

The third level involves listening for what may be present beneath the words: assumptions, emotions, concerns and tensions. This is a skill that can be developed. The first place to begin is with what coaches sometimes call a ‘know-nothing’ state: the discipline of setting aside assumptions and remaining genuinely curious.

Being present

Listening at the second and third levels is not possible without being present. Being present means engaging fully in the conversation rather than dividing your attention between the person speaking and your next task.

For the duration of the conversation, the leader’s attention is directed toward the person in front of them, not toward the next meeting, the morning’s problems or a phone notification. This does not mean that distractions disappear; it means that the leader notices them and deliberately returns their attention to the conversation.

Non-verbal behaviour can add useful context here, but it's not a mind-reading tool. A person looking away might be thinking, recalling something, feeling uncomfortable, or simply reacting to the room. Rather than assuming what it means, a leader can stay curious and ask a respectful follow-up question instead.

Asking questions

Naturally, after listening to the other person speak and being completely present in the moment, curiosity shines through. Operating from a know-nothing state and being completely present will create an invitation to ask questions.

A good leader asks questions, and a great leader knows what kind of questions to ask. For instance, asking, “Did you get the job done?”, will give us different information than asking, “How much of the job is done?” Both questions concern the status of the task, but the first invites a yes-or-no answer, while the second creates space for the person to explain their progress.

Knowing what kind of questions to ask and how is a skill, which can invite the other person to share openly and honestly, or scare them away.

Why is this so important?

I know what you're thinking. It's so much easier to just tell the person to do the work, because actively listening, being present and asking questions can take so much more time. You're right. It does take longer, but this is the investment that you are making in the future.

There's a reason for that beyond intuition. Cognitive psychology has a name for it.

The Generation Effect

Psychologists Norman Slamecka and Peter Graf found in 1978 that people remember information better when they generate it themselves than when they simply read or receive it. A later meta-analysis of 86 studies found the effect across a wide range of materials and experimental tasks. The research suggests that actively generating information can improve later memory compared with passively receiving it. A coaching conversation is not the same as a laboratory memory task, but the principle offers a useful explanation for why people tend to remember and own insights they've worked out for themselves.

Slamecka, N. J., & Graf, P. (1978). “The Generation Effect: Delineation of a Phenomenon.” Journal of Experimental Psychology: Human Learning and Memory, 4(6), 592–604.

Bertsch, S., Pesta, B. J., Wiscott, R., & McDaniel, M. A. (2007). “The Generation Effect: A Meta-Analytic Review.” Memory & Cognition, 35(2), 201–210.

That is what my portfolio manager did at the fax machine: he turned a mistake into a learning experience. He didn't tell me to get confirmation next time. He asked me what I thought we should do, and I had to produce the answer myself. I've never forgotten it.

Putting it all together

After that day when my leader coached me through the process, I placed many more orders and I never made the same mistake again.

As a leader, I invite you to listen more actively and ask better questions. Not simply to gather more information, but to help people think clearly, take ownership and make better decisions.

What’s the ROI of an Executive Coach

Andreas was promoted to Director following his exceptional performance as a sales manager.

"Congratulations, now the real work begins." The CEO tells him.

Andreas knows his job. He's been doing it for the past decade. But this is the first time that he's handling sales managers, who have people reporting under them.

The first month goes by so quickly. Andreas is working longer hours and putting in more effort. He sleeps less and spends less time with his family.

By month three, the performance is still the same. The team is unmotivated, and Andreas keeps doing everything on his own, because he wants to make sure he does everything right.

Six months into the role and he barely has time to sleep. The numbers are speaking for themselves - no change since the promotion. And most of the time, Andreas skips lunch, works until the late hours of the night, and barely gets any sleep.

Stress has become part of his life.

"It's only temporary", Andreas tries to convince himself.

A year into the role and Andreas looks like he has aged five years. His body shows fatigue. Puffy eyes, weight gain, back pain and heavy breathing are becoming increasingly common for Andreas.

One day he wakes up with a fever, but there's no time to go to the doctor. He powers through. Goes to work. Gets the job done, and then collapses.

He's rushed to the hospital and while he's laying on his bed, he asks for his laptop. He needs to finish the work, but the Doctor refuses to comply. "You're killing yourself".

Years later, one of two things will happen: Andreas either ends up back in the hospital, or something worse.

This is not a true story. Andreas does not exist, but his career journey, stress and need to perform are real.

Many leaders go through similar experiences, and rarely does anyone ask for help. The World Health Organization and International Labour Organization found that in 2016, working 55 or more hours a week was linked to an estimated 745,000 deaths from stroke and ischemic heart disease worldwide. I don't know how precisely that figure captures every case, but even ONE death from overworking is one too many.

You see, I was on the path that fictional Andreas was going through, and although I was lucky not to end up in hospital (or worse) I can tell you that I know people who have. And it's a scary ordeal, for everyone involved.

That's why I decided to leave finance and focus on the one thing that truly makes a difference: executive coaching.

Companies in Cyprus are not investing enough in their leaders, because there isn't always a clear return on investment for coaching. Management wants to see a number that represents growth in revenue, or savings in costs.

I can tell you that ICF-commissioned studies have reported returns on coaching in the range of 5–7x the investment (with variation depending on context), or I can point to research from Gallup, which estimate that replacing a leader can cost up to two times their annual salary, which is a cost that good coaching can help a company avoid.

But we rarely talk about the metric that cannot be easily measured: psychological and physical improvement.

As an executive coach, I practice active listening and complete presence with my clients. I focus all my energy and become an extension of the person sitting across from me. I've had executives talk for an hour, and then tell me that this was the best use of their time.

I don't know how to measure that precisely, but what I can tell you is that focused attention and the ability to think clearly are often the starting point for better decisions and better performance.

So when people ask me what is the return on coaching, I usually divide it into three metrics:

Investing for Growth

Investing in an accredited and certified executive coach is one of the best investments any executive can make. Let's say that a sales director has taken on new responsibilities and wants to achieve an almost impossible 30% increase in revenues compared to the year before.

The sales director has done this before, so it's not impossible. A plan is put into place and a strict budget is set to track the figures on a monthly basis. Every decision is made around the prospect of increasing the possibility of hitting that 30% target.

The sales director has regular team meetings, some on a weekly basis, others on a bi-weekly frequency. The team reports back with the progress. It's not good enough. The team is barely hitting 5% increase in sales compared to last year, and after two months - they will clearly miss the target.

Because the sales director is an expert, the target will most probably be met. But if the target keeps getting bigger every year, there will need to be different approaches to make sure that sustainable performance is possible, otherwise, there's a risk of burnout.

That's where an executive coach like me comes in. The experienced coach knows that the problem is not the 30% sales target, but rather the perspective of how to achieve this milestone consistently.

One way to think about the investment is through expected value. For instance, if the 30% increase means EUR 200,000 in additional revenue, and coaching increases the probability of success, then that improvement has a measurable value.

If we place a conservative 50% probability of success, and aim for a 5x return on investment, that would justify an investment of around EUR 20,000 in a dedicated executive coach over the specified period. It's not an exact formula, but a practical way to look at the decision, and a direct partnership between the sales director and the executive coach.

Investing for Efficiency

Another example would be to invest for efficiency. Let's assume that the same sales director has managed to hit the 30% sales target, and has been working late almost every night. The amount of hours spent on prepping the team, on sales meetings, and on documenting the returns, and anything else that takes time away from the sales director, are costs.

Let's assume that the fully loaded hourly cost of the sales director is between EUR 300 - EUR 500, which is a reasonable range for senior roles in Cyprus.

If the coach is able to help the sales director delegate more efficiently and effectively, that could translate to at least saving one hour a week. That becomes four hours a month, and 24 hours in six months.

With simple math, that means that over a period of six months, up to EUR 12,000 has been recovered in time spent, because of effective delegation.

Investing EUR 7,000 in an executive coach could therefore pay for itself purely in efficiency gains, even before considering the upside.

The biggest return on investment, however, is not just the savings. It's what the sales director chooses to do with the additional hour each week. That can be invested in new projects, mentoring, or personal development, which yields an even greater return to the sales director and the company.

Investing for Peace of Mind

There's one more return on investment that is more difficult to measure, which is based on psychological peace of mind.

There are scientific ways to measure changes in the brain, for example using EEG in research environments, but this is not how coaching outcomes are typically assessed in practice. Instead, we rely on consistent self-assessment.

Using the same example, the executive coach can ask the sales director to rate themselves on a scale of 1 - 10 on stress, with 10 being completely stressed. Over time, this rating can be measured to assess the changes on the scale.

The way that I approach this is to ask at the beginning of the coaching engagement to complete a simple high performance audit. The audit includes a subjective measure of stress, among other metrics such as communication, compensation and overall fulfillment.

That gives us a baseline.

Now, this is completely subjective, and depends on the time of the year, the external environment and other factors that are not in our control, but it still serves as a great way to put a metric on stress, which is not easily measured.

At the end of the coaching engagement, the same audit can be used to assess how far along the scale the sales director is.

What I've noticed from my practice, is that in most cases stress has dropped over the span of six months. This is not a strict methodological claim, but when I ask my clients how they feel, the majority say that they now see things from a different perspective, and having options almost always eases stress levels.

The value of this change varies between individuals. Some might even be willing to invest over EUR 10,000 to get such results, which proves that this is a real pain that many executives experience and want to improve.

Putting It Together

From these three examples, we can conclude that the return on investment for working with an experienced and accredited executive coach can be significant.

In some cases, it may reach multiples of the original investment. In others, it may be lower. It depends on the individual, the context, and the level of engagement.

But even with conservative assumptions, it is reasonable to expect that coaching can deliver a strong return, both financially and personally.

As an ex-investment advisor, a return of 5x gets my attention. Not because it’s guaranteed, but because the upside meaningfully outweighs the downside.

One last point that I want to make is that executive coaches have limited hours in the day, and so do executives. Timing, readiness and priorities matter on both sides.

What to Look for in an Executive Coach in Cyprus

Whenever someone in Cyprus asks what I do for a living, I pause. Then I test the waters: "I'm a coach."

The response is almost always the same. "Football coach?"

I don't blame them. Coaching is still in its infancy here. Compared to the United States or Western Europe, where executive coaching has been a boardroom staple for decades, Cyprus is only beginning to discover what the practice can do. But that doesn't make it any less powerful. If anything, the executives who embrace it here are getting ahead of a curve that is only going to steepen.

So before you hire an executive coach in Cyprus, it helps to understand what coaching actually is.

The International Coaching Federation defines coaching as "partnering with clients in a thought-provoking and creative process that inspires them to maximise their personal and professional potential." In plain terms: it's a structured conversation between you and a trained professional, designed to help you think differently, act more deliberately, and perform at a higher level without burning out in the process.

My mother still isn't entirely sure what I do for a living. And when I went to my insurance broker to arrange professional indemnity insurance for my coaching practice, we had the same conversation. Football coach? Eventually we figured it out. What I realised in that moment was the importance of meeting people where they are before explaining what coaching really means.

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So what actually happens in a coaching session?

I struggle to describe it sometimes. Because what happens in a good coaching session feels less like a meeting and more like something else entirely. Creative solutions to problems you've been carrying for years appear in the room. Not because the coach handed them to you, but because the right questions, asked in the right space, unlocked something you already had inside you.

That's what makes executive coaching different from consulting, mentoring, or training. A consultant tells you what to do. A mentor shares what worked for them. A coach helps you figure out what's right for you. And in a market like Cyprus, where business is personal and relationships run deep, that distinction matters enormously.

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So what should you look for when hiring an executive coach?

1. Accreditation

Coaching is not a regulated industry. Anyone can call themselves a coach, which means accreditation is your first filter. Look for coaches accredited by recognised bodies such as the International Coaching Federation (ICF) or the European Mentoring and Coaching Council (EMCC). These organisations hold coaches to defined ethical and professional standards. But accreditation alone isn't enough. It's the starting point, not the finish line.

2. Full-time commitment

Is coaching their primary profession, or a side project? This matters more than it sounds. A full-time coach has made a serious commitment to the practice. They've built their reputation around it. They have skin in the game in a way that a part-time coach simply doesn't. When someone is all in, you feel it before they even say a word.

3. Investment in their own development

I ask my clients to invest in themselves, so I hold myself to the same standard. Look at what courses, certifications, and development the coach has pursued beyond their basic qualification. A coach who keeps learning brings more to the room. A coach who stopped the day they got certified is already falling behind.

4. Experience and coaching hours

How many hours have they coached? Who have they worked with? Have they navigated the kind of pressures you face? A strong executive coach doesn't need to have held your exact role, but they need to understand the environment you operate in. The pace, the stakes, the politics, the pressure.

5. References, recommendations, and reputation

Ask for references. Read reviews. Search their name on Google. Look them up on LinkedIn. See what comes up when you type their name into an AI. In Cyprus especially, reputation travels fast. A coach who has been operating with integrity will have a visible trail of trust behind them.

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But none of that is the most important thing.

All of the above matters. Accreditation, commitment, experience, reputation. They are all worth checking. But the most important thing you can do before hiring an executive coach is have a conversation with them. Not a sales call. A real conversation.

Coaching is a partnership. And like any partnership, it only works when there is genuine trust on both sides. Not trust that is assumed, or bought, or rushed. Trust that is earned. I always think about it this way: trust between a coach and client is like two hands coming together to clap. If only one hand is reaching, there's no sound. The magic only happens when both hands meet.

That first conversation tells you everything. Does this person listen? Do they ask the right questions? Do you feel safe being honest with them? Do they seem genuinely interested in you, or in closing a deal? Your instincts are data. Use them.

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A final thought

The right executive coach won't rush you into a decision. They'll invite a conversation first. Because if they're serious about the work, they know that trust is the foundation everything else is built on. And trust, as any good coach will tell you, cannot be manufactured. It can only be earned.

That's the standard I hold myself to. And it's the standard you should hold any coach to.

High Performance Without Burnout. What No One Tells You.

There's a quote that has followed me for years, most often credited to Mark Twain: "The two most important days in your life are the day you're born, and the day you find out why."

I'm going to share one of those days with you.

The first time I experienced burnout, I was working as an investment advisor in Dubai. I woke in the middle of the night drenched in sweat. My body was sending me a clear signal, and I completely ignored it.

At the peak of my career, I was working up to 16 hours a day. I believed working more meant getting more done. The remaining hours were split between exercise, family, and sleep, in that order. I was convinced I was a high-performer.

In March 2022, everything changed. I contracted Covid and isolated away from my wife and two daughters. One evening, I meditated with no time restriction, chasing one question: What's my purpose in life?

After forty minutes of complete silence, I saw one word: SOLVE.

I had no idea what it meant. I went to bed perplexed. The next day, everything made sense, and that was the second most important day of my life.

Naguib Mahfouz wrote, "Nothing records the effects of a sad life so graphically as the human body." That's exactly what I saw when I finally looked in the mirror.

I had believed high-performance meant doing more. More hours, more effort, more output. I was wrong.

I now define high-performance as getting more done by doing less. It's understanding the small shifts that create the biggest changes, the essence of the 80/20 rule.

High-performance isn't a goal. It's a process. And burnout is not part of the formula.

Here are the three pillars I work from, and the practical insight each one offers:

• Habits. Our behaviours shape our results long before we notice. Audit what you do daily, not just what you achieve. Small, repeated actions either compound into high-performance or quietly erode it.

• Mindset. Your internal operating system determines how you respond under pressure. The beliefs you hold about rest, limits, and what "enough" looks like matter more than your technical skills. Shift one core belief, and everything shifts with it.

• Strategy. Intention without direction is just effort. Stop doing what no longer serves your most important goals. High-performance isn't about doing everything. It's about doing the right things with conviction.

One principle ties all three together. How we communicate with ourselves matters more than anything external. That inner dialogue is where performance is won or lost.

As Eckhart Tolle wrote, "The fire of suffering becomes the light of consciousness." 

High performance is not about squeezing more into the day. It is about removing what drains you, protecting what matters, and repeating the few actions that create disproportionate results.

That's true high-performance.